I'm lost and stupid without you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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