I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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