i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
