You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
