Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
