Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize