I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
