Dignity is for republicans.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
