Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
