Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
