You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
