I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
