If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
