She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
