Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
