I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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