You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
