I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
