i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
