love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize