So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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