During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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