i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
