id be glad to
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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