Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
