Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
