So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
