DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
