I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
