she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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