Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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