We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
