she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
