Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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