Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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