Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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