I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
