Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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