They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
