love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize