16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize