I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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