so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
