oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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