I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
