Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
