Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my being single is dangerous.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
