Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
