don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
