so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
