It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
