My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
