how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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