We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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