dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
