uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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