I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
