my vag is so smooth its legendary
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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