What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She announced her abortion via fbk
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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