Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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