Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
