Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
